Memories ~ Part One

As I said in my previous post I was going to write about one of the most precious gifts you can have & that's good memories. No one can take them away from you & you can revisit them whenever you choose. I know I may get a little emotional as I write this but I want to share some of them with you.

It was a cold winters night & I'd gone over to Chesterfield to see a friend of mine who was in the psychiatric unit at the hospital. 

We sat on the ward for awhile just chatting & catching up with each other as it had been some time since we had last spoken. I suggested that rather than sitting on the ward that we went to the hospital cafe for a coffee. From that moment on my life changed...

We were just starting to walk down the stairs as another bloke was walking up. He spoke to my friend Steve & in an instant I knew I had to meet him properly. He stirred something inside me that I'd not felt before.

The whole time me & Steve were in the cafe I was bombarding him with questions about the bloke that Steve called Dobo. He was pretty vague about stuff but I said he needed to get this Dobo to meet me.

Eventually we strolled back up to the ward & I left, promising Steve I would ring when I got home so he knew I'd arrived safely but also asking him to see if he could convince this guy to meet me.

As promised I rang Steve & asked him if he'd managed to talk to Dobo, but he told me he'd not as something had gone off on one of the wards & it had been busy with extra patients coming onto the ward he was on. He said he would do his best to see what he could sort out.I'm not the most patient of people & was texting him every five minutes to see how he was getting on. Sadly he wasn't doing a very good job & I thought all was a lost cause but sent him one last text that said plain & simply "Get it sorted x". I waited another five minutes & decided to ring him before going to bed.

Obviously the question was on my lips... had he managed to do anything. He once again said no but whilst I was ranting at him down the phone on how you couldn't rely on a bloke to do anything this Dobo guy came & sat down in the alcove near Steve. Steve not knowing what to say just briefly explained about me & showed him the text that said Get it sorted. Thankfully Dobo told Steve to give me his number & we'd take it from there.

I felt like a teenager with their first crush. I nervously texted not knowing what to expect but I just had a good feeling about it. This Dobo turned out to be Jamie & it was the beginning of something truly magical.

We finally got to meet on the Friday evening. I spent all day feeling worked up & nervous hoping I'd make a good impression. Got myself showered & changed & set off for Chesterfield.

When I got onto the war the staff went & got Steve for me & his girlfriend was there too & then Jamie joined us several minutes later. He was even better close up. So the four of us sat & chatted for awhile then Jamie suggested me &  him went to the cafe for a coffee. I felt so nervous about it.... I was hoping I would still be able to talk to him, as believe it or not I am quite shy, & that we wouldn't have too many awkward silences. I had absolutely nothing to worry about. I know when I get talking I can take some shutting up but I'd met my match with Jamie. We sat with our drinks whilst he told me all about his past. Things hadn't been easy for him & I thought it was lovely how he opened up to me, telling me things that weren't that easy for him. I admired him for it. And so the attraction grew. Actually I knew then I wanted to be part of his life & that I'd already fallen for him. I didn't say anything as I didn't want to scare him or put him off. Heavy stuff for a first meeting.

After finishing our drinks we strolled back to the ward & had another bit of a chat with Steve, then it was time for me to leave. 

Jamie, being the gentleman he was, offered to walk me down to my car, an offer I didn't refuse so off we went still talking like mad as if we had to fit it all into that one evening.... Then it happened....

We reached my car & I unlocked it then turned round so I could say goodbye to him & he kissed me. It was one amazing kiss. I never wanted it to end. We eventually broke apart & I was at a loss at what to say & can't remember what I did say, other than I'd see him the next day & I drove home with the biggest of smiles upon my face.

That first meeting will stay with me forever. No one can erase it & I will always remember it as if it were yesterday.

I went to visit him most days & each time we had something fresh & new to talk about. I could never tire of his stories. But we decided to keep things just as friends. Jamie was in a weird relationship & I wasn't quite ready to make a commitment to anything. But we always shared a kiss before I left.

Thing was I was on a bit of a high when all this was happening & with every high there comes a low & I hit a bad one, ending up being sectioned & on the ward next to Jamie's.

To start with I wasn't allowed to see him for any length of time but he was able to go fetch my cigs for me & I trusted him to draw money out of my bank account at the cash machine within the hospital, as I was allowed off the ward. Sometimes the staff would let him come down to the smoke room so we could have a bit of a natter. But cos I couldn't see him when I wanted to the days dragged.

Eventually I was allowed onto the landing that separated our wards & we would sit out there planning all sorts of crazy stuff, or playing cards. 

Normally I'd have hated being on the unit but knowing Jamie wasn't far away made it easier.

Winter turned to spring, a time when things start to blossom & grow as did our friendship.

Over the months I had dropped little hints to Jamie that I fancied him but he chose to ignore them & we just carried on our friendship as it was, but I was content with that. At least I still had him in my life & that was what counted.

I was happy with the world, a feeling I'd not experienced in a long time, but it was Jamie who had put back that spring in my step & a smile on my face that all my friends commented on & were happy to see me like this.

It was the beginning of something so special that when I get chance I shall carry on writing.

Hope you've enjoyed it so far & look forward to what is to follow.

xxx