Jamie's Funeral Service

Funeral service of Jamie Hylton

The shock of losing Jamie is beyond words and can only be imagined how difficult this is for his loved ones, but because of who he was we celebrate his life in a way that is fitting for the person he is. Jamie was baptised as a child into the Church of England but today in keeping with what was felt would be his wishes today is not a traditional religious service but an opportunity to honour him publicly with memories of his character, through the music that was special to him and Lexi, and through private reflection. We will allow time during this service to honour him privately and to some that may be through silent prayer, and my own prayers will remain with your family at this time, and to others that will be in remembering their own personal relationship with Jamie. Our thoughts remain with Jamie’s loved ones as we remember Lexi, and Zac and Jordan and Liberty who had been looking forward to their plans to meet Jamie, and his mother Eunice, we honour the memory of his sister Sam, who’s birthday it would be today. We remember John and Sandy and his brother Stephen and sisters Alison and Debra and Adam and Jodie and Kelly with whom he was particularly close. Our thoughts remain with all, mentioned today or not.

K's reading

My friendship with Lexi has been a cornerstone in my life for over thirty years.

Although I had the very real privilege of knowing Jamie, it was sadly to be for

far less time; just the four years that he and Lexi have spent together

including as husband and wife. I believe that anyone who knew them both

during that time will agree with me that the love between them was

something very special to witness.

Lexi has asked me to read here today, from a piece she wrote herself, way

back in 1998. I hope you will understand and share its relevance today by the

time I am through.

Wants & Needs ~ by Lexi Hylton 1998

I want to feel loved, wanted & special.

I want to be held, kissed and touched as though I'm the only thing that's keeping the other person alive.
I want to be held at night when my nightmares start, by someone who I know loves me for me, and not for their own satisfaction.
Someone to wipe the tears away when life becomes unbearable and I just can't, can't go on.
Someone to talk to and understand, to hold my hand or put their arms around me, to believe in me.

I want someone to accept me for what I am and not judge me.

I need to feel fulfilled.

Please let me be me & let me be happy.
I need to see the sun rise in the morning & feel it's warmth upon my skin.
To feel the breeze gently blowing round me.
The rain to fall on my face and hide the tears that I so often shed.
I want to be able to give someone else the same as I want for myself.
I want to love & be loved.
Most of all I want to be free.
Free of the nightmares, the guilt, the shame, but most of all... me.

The reason this piece is so appropriate today is that for Lexi, Jamie answered all those dreams. For her, he truly was the answer to her prayers. Selfless, devoted, open, loving and a real friend. We all loved Jamie in our own ways, and he will be very sorely missed by many.

James Morrison ~ You Give Me Something

Eulogy

The Jamie we remember today was the sort of man who throughout his life had an ability to make you smile. He was the sort of son who was forever there for his mother and likewise with his mother in law in later years too. Lexi met him around 4 years ago in the January. Their friendship began as shared struggles but strangely enough it was those struggles that brought them together. They were friends for around 6 months before becoming more permanent. Lexi said that he was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with from the first day they met. It was 2006 when they met and they were married in 2008

The Jamie Lexi met was so full of energy, frantic energy, so full of laughter and a man who was so open and honest with her. Jamie will be remembered from earlier time was a fitness fanatic, a walker and had just started jogging again, having earlier run in several marathons to raise money for the Sheffield Children’s hospital. The fitness thing was something that he put himself into so much and when he wasn’t, he was throwing himself into making other people happy. He was the sort of chap who would and could talk to anyone. In Bakewell where he lived he seemed to know everyone. So, known by so many, a fitting tribute is the fact that no one ever had a bad word about him.

Lexi said to me that the 4 years they had together were best of her life and the best of his despite all things. It was said that they were like a pair of children in love. There is a photo of the pair that K took of them in the garden, which now seems to have made it into the homes of so many. Jamie was what was called a ‘neat freak.’ His appearance was always just right and flawless, every piercing, every item of clothing the way the hair had to be.

The Jamie we honour today was one who would put pen to paper and write poetically, and in reading them would open a window into his soul and give an insight into his life, his passions and his struggles, some of which would fascinate his reader. He was a face book lover, and his wall is covered in an amazing amount of tributes to a clearly well loved man. Jamie was also quite a spiritual man and had was involved in Paganism.

As a man he was verbal as well as having an ability to write and express just who he was and where he was at. I asked what he did when he was at home, and was told how he would either be cleaning, writing, cooking, usually his favourite, spaghetti bolognaise, if not looking for someone to look after.

To tease out a word or sentence that sums up Jamie the most on such a sad day is no easy task, but I leave you with words such as big hearted, generous, and of course that smile.

Jamie’s passing has been such a shock and there are not words to make his loved ones feel any better at this time, but we honour today a man who laid aside his own troubles in pursuit of the needs of others. We wish him healing and rest reunited with Sam his beloved sister.

Afterglow

I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one

I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done

I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways

Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days

I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun,

Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

Any donations given in memory of Jamie are to go to cancer research and there are refreshments at the Britannia after the service.

Committal- (curtain open)

As we come to the final chapter of Jamie’s earthly life, we are glad that he has lived, and to have experienced life with him. We cherish him words, his deeds and his smile. We wish him rest, we wish for him peace. Therefore let us proceed from this place glad to have been part of his story. Even in the sadness of death, we would say that life is precious and good.

When I come to the end of the road, and the sun has set for me I want no rites in a gloom filled room, why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little but not too long, and not with your head bowed low. Remember the love that we once shared. Miss me but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take, and each must go alone. It’s all part of the master plan, a step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sad of heart go to the friends we know, and bury your sorrows in doing good deeds. Miss me but let me go.

Snow Patrol ~ Chasing Cars

Memories ~ Part One

As I said in my previous post I was going to write about one of the most precious gifts you can have & that's good memories. No one can take them away from you & you can revisit them whenever you choose. I know I may get a little emotional as I write this but I want to share some of them with you.

It was a cold winters night & I'd gone over to Chesterfield to see a friend of mine who was in the psychiatric unit at the hospital. 

We sat on the ward for awhile just chatting & catching up with each other as it had been some time since we had last spoken. I suggested that rather than sitting on the ward that we went to the hospital cafe for a coffee. From that moment on my life changed...

We were just starting to walk down the stairs as another bloke was walking up. He spoke to my friend Steve & in an instant I knew I had to meet him properly. He stirred something inside me that I'd not felt before.

The whole time me & Steve were in the cafe I was bombarding him with questions about the bloke that Steve called Dobo. He was pretty vague about stuff but I said he needed to get this Dobo to meet me.

Eventually we strolled back up to the ward & I left, promising Steve I would ring when I got home so he knew I'd arrived safely but also asking him to see if he could convince this guy to meet me.

As promised I rang Steve & asked him if he'd managed to talk to Dobo, but he told me he'd not as something had gone off on one of the wards & it had been busy with extra patients coming onto the ward he was on. He said he would do his best to see what he could sort out.I'm not the most patient of people & was texting him every five minutes to see how he was getting on. Sadly he wasn't doing a very good job & I thought all was a lost cause but sent him one last text that said plain & simply "Get it sorted x". I waited another five minutes & decided to ring him before going to bed.

Obviously the question was on my lips... had he managed to do anything. He once again said no but whilst I was ranting at him down the phone on how you couldn't rely on a bloke to do anything this Dobo guy came & sat down in the alcove near Steve. Steve not knowing what to say just briefly explained about me & showed him the text that said Get it sorted. Thankfully Dobo told Steve to give me his number & we'd take it from there.

I felt like a teenager with their first crush. I nervously texted not knowing what to expect but I just had a good feeling about it. This Dobo turned out to be Jamie & it was the beginning of something truly magical.

We finally got to meet on the Friday evening. I spent all day feeling worked up & nervous hoping I'd make a good impression. Got myself showered & changed & set off for Chesterfield.

When I got onto the war the staff went & got Steve for me & his girlfriend was there too & then Jamie joined us several minutes later. He was even better close up. So the four of us sat & chatted for awhile then Jamie suggested me &  him went to the cafe for a coffee. I felt so nervous about it.... I was hoping I would still be able to talk to him, as believe it or not I am quite shy, & that we wouldn't have too many awkward silences. I had absolutely nothing to worry about. I know when I get talking I can take some shutting up but I'd met my match with Jamie. We sat with our drinks whilst he told me all about his past. Things hadn't been easy for him & I thought it was lovely how he opened up to me, telling me things that weren't that easy for him. I admired him for it. And so the attraction grew. Actually I knew then I wanted to be part of his life & that I'd already fallen for him. I didn't say anything as I didn't want to scare him or put him off. Heavy stuff for a first meeting.

After finishing our drinks we strolled back to the ward & had another bit of a chat with Steve, then it was time for me to leave. 

Jamie, being the gentleman he was, offered to walk me down to my car, an offer I didn't refuse so off we went still talking like mad as if we had to fit it all into that one evening.... Then it happened....

We reached my car & I unlocked it then turned round so I could say goodbye to him & he kissed me. It was one amazing kiss. I never wanted it to end. We eventually broke apart & I was at a loss at what to say & can't remember what I did say, other than I'd see him the next day & I drove home with the biggest of smiles upon my face.

That first meeting will stay with me forever. No one can erase it & I will always remember it as if it were yesterday.

I went to visit him most days & each time we had something fresh & new to talk about. I could never tire of his stories. But we decided to keep things just as friends. Jamie was in a weird relationship & I wasn't quite ready to make a commitment to anything. But we always shared a kiss before I left.

Thing was I was on a bit of a high when all this was happening & with every high there comes a low & I hit a bad one, ending up being sectioned & on the ward next to Jamie's.

To start with I wasn't allowed to see him for any length of time but he was able to go fetch my cigs for me & I trusted him to draw money out of my bank account at the cash machine within the hospital, as I was allowed off the ward. Sometimes the staff would let him come down to the smoke room so we could have a bit of a natter. But cos I couldn't see him when I wanted to the days dragged.

Eventually I was allowed onto the landing that separated our wards & we would sit out there planning all sorts of crazy stuff, or playing cards. 

Normally I'd have hated being on the unit but knowing Jamie wasn't far away made it easier.

Winter turned to spring, a time when things start to blossom & grow as did our friendship.

Over the months I had dropped little hints to Jamie that I fancied him but he chose to ignore them & we just carried on our friendship as it was, but I was content with that. At least I still had him in my life & that was what counted.

I was happy with the world, a feeling I'd not experienced in a long time, but it was Jamie who had put back that spring in my step & a smile on my face that all my friends commented on & were happy to see me like this.

It was the beginning of something so special that when I get chance I shall carry on writing.

Hope you've enjoyed it so far & look forward to what is to follow.

xxx